英文简历写作：致命的错误

"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."



"Qualifications: No education or experience."



"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."



"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."



"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."



"Fired because I fought for lower pay."



"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65" .



"Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."



"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."



"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately